“Things do not change; we change.””I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each others eyes for an instant?” Henry David Thoreau
I know I run away from my feelings many times and I would guess there are a lot of people running alongside me. Those who think otherwise perhaps don’t see the ways we manage to escape our thoughts which run rampant when we are hurt. For me, it is losing myself in work. I pride myself on keeping the working flame burning as I rush to get things done. I have heard others say when they just had a fight with a spouse that they clean their house or closet.
We all find our own way to escape the emotional pain. The problem is the toll it takes on us. We end up with emotional stress hidden under the curtain, physical stress due to our overactive need to work and exhaustion of ourselves, and spiritual stress because we refuse to face the actual issue. I know I am as guilty as anyone in how I handle the pain but it occurred to me one day when I had taken a rebuff from someone I never thought would ever do it, how much suffering we endure at the hands of those we love.
When one constantly steps on the accelerator giving the car gas while idle, it wastes the gas and destroys the car. the same is true with our bodies being in high gear due to stress. We push ourselves above and beyond, take our anger out on others, and inflict medical issues upon ourselves from the stress.
Emotions, even our own are difficult to deal with. They confuse us, mix up our thinking and bring an element of fear into the equation. Those deep down sentiments beg to be understood yet the understanding will bring change which causes anxiety. Transformations force us to act differently. They necessitate a reevaluation of our truths and entail accommodating a new point of view. We will never be the same which is why we fight the alteration.
Perhaps we are not ready for the mental state derived from facing the truth. Maybe we need more time to modify our belief system. Bringing in the new is difficult. The ripple effect is tremendous as we modify and amend. Every player has a varying take on the action. Every person sees a situation through their own eyes with their own schemata and their own personal needs. That makes it huge that any of us will actually sift through the inconsequential and find the truth.
Our truth differs from my truth or your belief. We have understood at the point we are able to look at it with a multi-lens and view it from many angles. Then we can boil it down for a clearer picture. This takes a multitude of time and effort so most of us being so busy lack the stamina to work that hard at deciphering. In reality, we visit this situation again and again in many forms until we choose to process it completely and end the confusion. Hast makes waste and in this case haste keeps the confusion running.
So other than time why is it we won’t confront our own demons. I believe we hate to see our own guilt and involvement. Inklings of guilt run quickly through our minds and we shut down. It is easier to view the guilt in others but not ourselves. When we gain courage we face it and basically have the opportunity to conquer it. What a relief when this happens. There are release and conversion. We grow as a person but lose some innocence.
The hardest thing is to know how every person we know, can disappoint us. Those who haven’t been christened into the realm of awareness yet may still hold the belief that certain individuals will never let us down. Others may deny that it has ever happened because it is easier to believe otherwise. As hard as it is, acknowledging the hard facts brings us closer to unity, forgiveness, and understanding about life in general.
Those who can’t accept honesty end relationships quickly, dissolve friendships, and ostracize one person after another. Those that perhaps betray them in one way or another are immediately discounted, What they never question is themselves. Are they judging themselves with the same ruler? If so then they must realize they have hurt others just as many times. Some of us forgive because we can’t or don’t want to live without this person in our lives. We don’t always comprehend why they did or said what they did or said. We don’t get the actuality of life at this point.
Most people use it as an excuse to keep their distance from this person. I believe we simply are human and make mistakes and sometimes our mistakes at the time are not realized so we go forward saying or doing something that hurts another and reason that they should not take it the way they do so it is their fault. All of us say and do according to our knowledge at the time. As we increase our understanding and awareness we appreciate how another might react and thus we adjust as necessary.
Once we get over the fact that everyone and anyone can tread on our affections, we come to terms with life and love. It doesn’t mean they don’t love us. That is what we must appreciate if we are going to accept and keep alive the bonds of affection. I am not talking about physical or mental abuse. Our normal though hurtful interactions with others are grasped and once absorbed amended. It is at those times mutual understanding occurs along with forgiveness. So many relationships might be saved if we gave each other space for error. We won’t find perfection in the best. Life is calmer, and more stable when we can bend without breaking. There are those times that we tend to forget when others had to return the favor. Look for the good and tolerate the bad.
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”“True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.”“Truth and roses have thorns about them.” Henry David Thoreau