“A man is truly ethical only when he obeys the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist, and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.” Albert Schweitzer
“Our words reveal our thoughts; our manners mirror our self-esteem; our actions reflect our character; our habits predict the future.” William Arthur Ward
Let’s accept the fact that when someone hurts us intentionally, it is difficult to erase it from our minds and go forward. This pertains to marriage, friendships and relatives. That is why it is so important to think, before we speak or act. When we act with impertinence and impatience, we usually regret it. In the end it has little to do with right, wrong or making a point. It has everything to do with needless pain and suffering. We all have those days, that are frustrating and test our limits. We need to know just what our limits are, so that we can get ourselves prepared for our storm, before we react.
When a hurricane is coming, we batten down windows, remove small outside objects that could become airborne, unplug electrical appliances and have plenty of nourishment on hand to replenish our bodies. We can make an analogy when we are irritated with another person or situation. We permit negative forces to build, and rise to a powerful force. At that moment we must batten down the mouth, remove all negative running thoughts from our minds, distance ourselves from phones, computers and anything else that might become an object for our use, in venting our anger at another. When we calm our minds with positive thoughts, that are without retaliation, meanness, anger, revenge, or jealousy, we can allow the fury to dissipate, rather than unloading it onto another human being.
How callous of us to believe we have this right to devalue another so shabbily. If we have faith in our reasons, then we should opt for calmness, in transferring the knowledge and evidence to the uninformed person. I for one know I have not always been solidly correct, nor entirely erroneous in any given situation. Those who believe they are at times guilty, might ponder how they were treated. If it was with patience and grace, then they should reciprocate. If it was shabby treatment, then they should recall how belittled they felt, and refrain from doing the same to another person.
On a regular basis we don’t stop to ponder the emotions, or thoughts of another. How far-reaching our negative attitude can ripple. How severe might the wound and scarring become. How much of an alteration to one’s life, may such a negative occurrence inflict. In our moment of anger we can be devoid of humanity. If we could melt the problem down to a single molecule, we may find we are just in a nasty mood due to fear, anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety or even our own recent hurt. When things calm down and we possibly apologize, it is not always a simple fix.
Hopefully we will all be willing to forgive most anything, but forgetting is the difficult piece. It really is not so simple when we have been deeply wounded. The scar is there as a reminder of our pain, and our ability to overcome adversity. The strong person is not the one who yells the loudest, speaks the angriest, or uses his muscles to force another into subordination. The strongest person is the one who gets up from his hurts every time, is able to forgive, carries his scars in a hidden place in his heart, and without fear continues on with his journey, and the lessons he has learned.
“Our civilization lacks humane feeling. We are humans who are insufficiently humane! We must realize that and seek to find a new spirit. We have lost the sight of this ideal because we are solely occupied with thoughts of men instead of remembering the thoughts of the spirit. By having a reverence for life, we enter into a spiritual relation with the world, by practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.” Albert Schweitzer
