“The fear really hits you. That’s what you feel first. And then it’s the anger and frustration. Part of the problem is how little we understand about the ultimate betrayal of the body when it rebels against itself.” Charles Bronson
“Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.” Saint Francis de Salles
“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures. ” Joseph Addison
How many times have we said, if this didn’t happen I’d be finished. If that hadn’t stopped, it would have been a shorter time. If I got here earlier, I would have been done. We dwell so much on how we perceive a situation is supposed to go. We most likely plan too much, and that is the cause of our disappointment. We want to accomplish a certain amount of work, in a clearly given time frame. Often we stress ourselves out, to meet our own demands.
I always plan so much more than I can accomplish, in any given time. Now I feel pleased if I come close to my goals, which only proves I am aware of my over achievement. What is not penetrating is the fact that I put pressure on myself, and cause so much anxiety, that I behave in frustrating ways. This is not fruitful to anyone.
I now believe we sabotage our own peace of mind. We are constantly setting ourselves up to accomplish the impossible. It somehow makes us feel good, if we come close to the finish, but at a tremendous cost to our stability. We say young people like to burn the candle at both ends, yet they are an extension of us. they are merely imitating our tactics. They want to work, study and experience time for pleasure. They end up with little sleep, which catches up with them, and with all of us eventually.
As we mature, marry and have children, we expect to fix the house, spend time with the kids and spouse, maintain a full-time job, and somehow slide in some sort of pleasure or down time for ourselves. As we age, the jobs become more tedious, harder to handle, and in general take longer to finish.
Where I am going with this is to the point of frustration. We have all experienced it, in one way or another. We sympathize upon witnessing it in others. Perhaps we don’t see it when we are unsatisfied. Pondering the numerous times we become anxious, and upset, with whatever it is we are working on, sheds light on what exasperates us. We are irritated when we expect more of ourselves. We can be our own worst enemy.
The solution is simple. We need to stop placing burdens on our shoulders. Instead of thinking in terms of have to do, we might look at our list of items as, what we would like to do. As soon as something appears to be a requirement, we shut down. The job may even take on the appearance of a huge obstacle. If we consider the work as a project, that we hope will manifest something inspiring, we almost look forward to gaining the time to do it.
It might come down to the fact of how we view our work lists. If they are not carrying a time limit, we are alleviated from a heavy load. So how one thinks about an issue, is the way the brain will circle it around and around, for better or worse.
We can look at interruptions in a variety of contexts. If we are working at something and kids interfere, we might consider how awesome and beautiful our children are. Remember how much they mean to you, and how it is a privilege to have them. Disregard the interruption and enjoy playing games with them. In this way, whenever they need us, we are so much more willing to give up our time. By recalling only what we set our minds to do for the day, blocks out and delays joyful spontaneity. I consider a kid interruption a blessing. It is a time we will never get back again, because every moment is unique. Take pleasure in the moment.
If we planned to work outside, and it began raining, don’t get frustrated. Remember there are just as many interesting things to accomplish inside. It is just how you are focusing. By focusing on only one thing, you are limiting your options. By being opened to more ideas, allows you to be happy with a variety of plans. In this way you can change any situation into a positive item, and halt a lot of frustrating moments. The set-back is in our minds, conjured up by our strict attention to rigidity. By becoming more flexible, life’s challenges will even appear easier to deal with.
Obstructions are the reason we fill with anger and later have regrets. Thwarted plans cause us stress, guilt and worry about failures. Frustrations are detrimental to our health, and relationships of any kind. It is necessary to switch them off, and follow alternative routes. When we do, we experience so much calmness. Remember also, there really are reasons why things unfold the way they do. It might be on another day, we will be more alert and experience fewer mistakes, which often lead to redo’s.
Relationships remain intact, the jobs get done with less stress, we experience a more positive attitude and a serenity in our work endeavor. How less frustrating does this sound. We won’t even remember how fast, or how slow, any task was completed. If we live with frustrations, we will most likely recall many negative moments, spent in anger and remorse, and we will perhaps remember how long the job did take.
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. Kurt Vonnegut
Things never go the way you expect them to. That’s both the joy and frustration in life. I’m finding as I get older that I don’t mind, though. It’s the surprises that tickle me the most, the things you don’t see coming. Michael Stuhlbarg