Mother of 4 Grandmother of 10
I search all the time for goals and objectives. As soon as I reach one goal or tire from the effort and accept defeat, I begin the search for a new goal. Many people have confessed to me they feel lost and close to worthlessness in their lack of contributions to society. They research highly motivational undertakings. Many attempt wild and difficult activities. I respect and admire such an effort.
I not only need to stop packing so many items when I go on vacation but I also must release so much of the mental baggage I carry with me from year to year. Whenever I am feeling defeated, I hopelessly recall the numerous hurts of the past. That would be fine, if I could eventually lay them to rest, but that isn’t how it works. I just feel more saddened, and I review these same issues, again and again. Now it appears to be time to learn, how to let them go forever, and not just until my next depressing day.
I am not surprised, when adults and the media go on and on about futile attempts at stopping the increase of bullying. Everyone is jumping on the wagon, trying to come up with ways of ending it. Clever people are involved, and meetings with intelligent people are held. The simple truth is, that it is easy to stop the bullying. All we need to do is stop it within ourselves, the adult population.
We all hate changes in our lives yet we cause so many unnecessary ones. It makes no sense how we frequently sabotage our lives. Perhaps we don’t think things through clearly enough before we jump on the new and mess things up. Changes are always difficult even when they are happy ones. They involve a new way of doing things or experiencing something. They may involve swapping our living quarters.
There is so much talk, about allowing other people to define who we are. I wondered why we never observe the good qualities within us. It is time to admire, and appreciate ourselves. The greatest road to anxiety, and depression, is to believe you are not worthy, can’t accomplish things and are a useless person.
This belief in your low opinion of self, is based on the estimations of others.It begins as a thought, and within a short time, travels throughout your brain. It finishes by convincing you, that you are behind in life, and likely will never catch up. I suppose it isn’t so much the sentiments others express to us, that makes us feel this way, as much as it is our negative perceptions about ourselves. The more we hear only the negative estimations, the greater the chance of us feeling defeated.
As we review our lives since the beginning or even over the past year, we might think of the happy times, but I fear most of us dwell on those moments of pain. It seems to be human nature, to want to make all things perfect in our lives. No matter how wonderful the year might have been, we review what went wrong during the difficult times.
Told to do our best from the time we understood what that meant, programs us to strive for goals, attainment, wealth and achievement. This leaves us working hard, for those who dare to take up the challenge. We have become “A one” personalities so to speak. We find as much fault in ourselves, as we find in others. It leaves us with feelings of insecurity, self doubt, distrust and a damaging notion of dissatisfaction.
Here we go again attempting to explain what we meant by our recent discourse. The person misinterpreted our meaning. I would not doubt for a second, how many times we are caught in such a situation. We just don’t grasp the implications from our interactions with others. The result is bewildering and hurt feelings. Misunderstandings and long time rifts of one sort or another are inevitable.
How do we complicate the meaning of what others are trying to say and how do others misinterpret our words and bring doubt and mistrust into the relationship. We grasp what we want in any of our conversations. Our misunderstanding of the encounter, causes us to choose a negative review of the incident. We dwell on the tiniest insult while ignoring any praise. We have set ourselves up for failure.
Continually attempting to please others, is likely the most difficult job we all work at constantly. All our boasts about not caring if someone likes it or not, are just nonsense. Deep down we want to make others happy. All of us work at making the grade, and becoming number one, in the eyes of another. What I have found is that it becomes impossible, to be the number one for any length of time. As hard as we work at it, eventually it wears us down, and I am not even sure others are totally aware of the game we are playing. They are too busy playing their version of it.
I never plan on being reproachful, but at times the truth blurts out of my mouth, and of course feelings are hurt. I am so sensitive myself, and loathe direct remarks, yet to correct it in myself is not easy. Sometimes I get the laughs, like I can’t believe you just said that. We all handle censure in various ways. I am working on thinking before sharing.
So many of us merely exist, and we focus on when we’ll die instead of living. We wonder constantly where we are going. Likely we would not recognize where we wanted to go. We make more plans than ever before, yet accomplish less. We set goals we never reach, and worry about insignificant issues. We fear what might happen, worry about what we have already done, dread what others think about us, yet never contemplate what we think about ourselves. Outwardly we brag about our accomplishments, inwardly we are insecure. Our good times are spoiled with thoughts of what is wrong or missing about the setting. But we refuse to appreciate what is right and happy about our environment.