Parenting can’t be left to the TV, computer, I-pad, I-phone tweeting, texting or any other technological device. the truth about divorce as far as the kids are concerned differs from what we might think as parents. It has never been pretty for the man and woman involved. Now we should look at the kids side to divorce which is the unheard and unseen pieces of the story. Adults want and must get their lives back together but kids can never put their lives back together. In the best of circumstances there is loss and sometimes permanent loss. Kids face the hardest challenges when there is a divorce yet are given the least amount of support.
Unless we die first, we are going to age. The choice then is death or aging. We don’t really have a choice. We endure what happens first. My grandmother always said,”Sure Pam old age is not for the weak or faint hearted.” She was right on the mark with those words. One thing about getting older is the contempt youth has for the aged. It is almost as if the aging person lost their mind. How perplexing in a cultured society, to hold old age with such disdain. We practically hide our elderly away. The older people get, the less interactions they have with others. They are perceptibly slower in their actions, words and thoughts.
“I am sorry,” are three little words that are very difficult to say. It is kind of a mystery because we are all so quick to say we know we are not always correct and we admit that we don’t always do the right thing. We have no problem acknowledging we have made mistakes in the past yet in the present it is a different story. It is as if we are a different person and unwilling to concede we were at fault. The earth may shatter if those three words are spoken. How many of us will admit we were partially to blame. We manage to avoid guilt.
We have such busy lives and busy schedules that we spend very little time thinking before we speak. This of course causes many problems big and small. Our lack of contemplation before uttering words effectively concludes with what I call clean-up. We wind up fixing an assortment of confusion we have made because of our carelessness.
So many of us seek happiness and no matter how much money power or fame we achieve, it eludes us. Money can make our lives complicated. We purchase more material objects with our money and they break down and need to be fixed. We buy more tickets to movies, theaters, and traveling places and it basically eats up our time and energy. It isn’t that we don’t enjoy our money or the places we visit. We find ourselves sitting in a chair the next day wondering why we don’t have a big smile on our faces and are not brimming over with happiness. Instead we are exhausted and want to spend time alone.
Bullying is a problem, but not a new problem. Most adults have a story to tell regarding a bullying incident they experienced. Perhaps we need to look to ourselves for correction before we try to fix our children. Many adults bully others at work, in neighborhoods, and in the public. Many times we are not even aware of our own bullying tactics or the emotional burdens and sadness it places on others. In the workplace, we don’t recognize our own bullying tactics.
If we want our children to have a close relationship with their siblings, then we must learn to not compare them. As soon as we place them in any kind of competition, we are chipping away at their ability to maintain healthy, loving bonds. When a new baby enters a household, havoc begins. The older sibling is threatened. After all, they had mom and dad all to themselves. Now they must wait before they met their needs. Why would they want to embrace this new person arriving on the scene? Parents need to instruct the child but do not want to yell at them when they attempt to hit their sibling. You must talk about the new baby explaining how much the baby and they are loved. Keep an eye on what transpires but allow the resident sibling chances to view and touch and help with the new baby.
Whatever the issues, couples have a tough time deciding where they will attend a holiday celebration. We all search for time to spend with our own families and trying to schedule time with in-laws can become a battleground. If there is fighting between the couple prior to the visit, it will be reflected in the attitudes the couple displays.
Some parents pressure their children to spend the holidays with them. If the son or daughter-in-law is from a smaller family, it might confuse the proceedings even more. If the husband or wife is an only child, it will also muddle the outcome.
I am amazed when I hear various people state how impressed they are with others who are noteworthy in the world and put upon thrones because of their contributions. I must say I admire these people also but I really and truly admire the people who don’t even notice their own contributions in a very big way. They make statements like “I sometimes don’t see my purpose in life.” Or they state “I should do more, but I wasn’t educated like they were.” I laugh because honestly what is an education? Isn’t it whatever we deem it is? Doesn’t someone make up the rules of the game which defines what it means to be smart or knowledgeable